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 Ronald Palmer's
poems have recently appeared in magazines including Green
Mountains Review and
Issues in Contemporary Culture and Aesthetics.
Camo: Flag: E(L): Lation
"...this earth / Is only for our prison
fram'd..."
- John Donne
Martyr of: The mom: Ent: rusted to your sealed mouth.
National Tour: ni: quet! Pre: Tend: Ency to Skin Envy!
My Ex: (hausted) Mother: sighs into her phone paym: Ent:
iced into another
GANG: RENE: (D): REAM (gold:card:keen)
SAVE: THE: GAY: GENE!
Gren: Ade: nitis. Gang: Rene: wed. Send me swe: ating
into another
paranoidal scream: but IN:SIDE! (in:side.) Rene: GED on
another promise:
of the mom: Ent: ropic Rene: Gade. Aim another
billion-dollar: de: fensive
laser:beam.
SAVE: THE: GAY: GENE!
My camouflaged elation becomes pensive flagellation. O
my:
staid generational mom: Ent: wined in $: and (pause):
Racial bulimia. Radical de: tox: emia! Martyr of the mom:
Ent: ombed: (I'm im: muring my life):
I've:yet:to:be:seen.
SAVE: THE: GAY: GENE!
The Logic of Mourning
"...profusely blinde, / Wee kill our selves to
propagate our kinde."
- John Donne (from An
Anatomie of the World)
Sing: (ed) son of sorrow: stay the night. You're right:
mourning travels:
like light. Wilt: ed: ition of the self: be warned. Lift
the worm: hole
absent-mindedly to your mouth: bend-warp a shortcut
across the universe.
Re: verse this song: mourning's might: is absorbed into
any object that
feels: like light: (which is everything).
Language and Meaning: a quick cop: ulation inside the
body's future
destination. Baiting a threat: BE PRE: PARED TO DIE
TONIGHT! Singes humid
blindness: a colon: ized army of tiny ants: march
loop-de-loops up our
legs: embroidering darkness: onto my third-tier s: kin.
Let the global
class: (war) be: gin on the in: ternet.
(spoon me: your rusted father): Go now: fill your body
with tears.
Death's anaesth: etized years. Reach up: stir stagnant
darkness: with
your striated thumb. I've just begun: to emit this den:
dritic logic:
with a silent tongue. Gal: actic syn: aptic. The
info-burnt network
ignites: drains the orange: sunset to whites.
My Top: Ten Requirements
For: My Top:
"...while you are not safe I am not
safe..."
- Allen Ginsberg
1. He must be able to kill: me in less: than seven
seconds.
2. He must be angry: like a starving: person is angry.
3. He must smell: only of his: own body.
4. He must think like a saint.
5. He must not speak.
6. He must have thumbs of Rodin's Balzac: thumbs solid:
like two minor
Gods: thick weights in my hands. (Your thumb is a God in
my hand).
7. He must have something blank in his eyes: that reminds
me: of my father.
8. He must sob: like a newborn: after love.
9. He must be unshaven everywhere.
10. He must never kiss me. He must: never. Otherwise: I
snap:
out: of: my: jolt:numbing dream.
Mor: Al: Arm: Or
(with Billy X. O'Brien)
Freeze the flat screen. A surface is pinned: with pine
trees
to the frozen earth. I: train traveling: snip the river
at the
bridge.(Later: I am wine. I smell of sugar. Earlier: I am
shock.)
Gone from the rigorous house: to rewrite the world: at
dawn:
We jerk a circ: le around the de: funct can: (n)on!
Coming:back:home:is:less:demanding:than:you'd:imagine.
A furthering: s:perm for mil:k: con: fuses my dys:
Functional relationship with death. A furthering:
I find myself: yawning: into a logo-fatigued dizziness.
Beside the corp: orate traffic: each driver zoning:
rubbernecking
at the sunny wedding. I withhold forgivness: where blame
blanks out: a new
drama. Love the colon: loathe the comma. I'm awkward:
Advertisements: for myself. A simple schism of fractured
embarrassments.
If I'm for myself as prism: Do I have a choice:
to lift the clouds with my voice? Lecturing at the dust
particles:
I swat the briefly radical bulb. Billy says: We're at the
dead
end of dust: I trust: your prelogical wings: are less
fragile:
than infinity? If not cow: then hen? If not God: then
Zen?
O Hill: elian: syllo: gism! This here's a call to
blandness:
where I become a fogged field: of atypical neo-blindness.
Pine stumps sawed
smooth for my blind eyes. Gloved in gasoline: counting
one:one:
Until a boy in a blue truck: arrives with his father
and singular sister. All my voids erode into yelps.
Is this earth a bouy? Or a boy: whoring around:
On the Bareback site: I'm shamedoubled: honortracked:
by a flock of alarmists. Cons: truct thy self:
co:quet:tish
with freshly:packed:trauma: re-enacted as flesh:fe:tish:
Return to hell to find the self: renamed: co: co: on:
wrapped
in a neatly woven sack: slid into a pupil-sized hole:
in the bored eye of your spirit wall: (grin: pony: flip):
All
This: assumes: life's worth living: my moral alarm clan:
ging (horror) clim: bing into my E-laced:
moral:armor:plush.
A furthering: voy:euris:tic teenager: seeking
mor:alm:esh.
Give up: you can't: ab:so:(lve):rb the father: through
the flesh.
Nyb: Bulling The Zen: Tense
(with Billy X. O'Brien)
Nyb: bull the sep: tic: sore:
a He:id:egg:erian ope:
ning: triggers the inse:
rt: I board two: selves into you.
Nibble is cunning: running
its mouth all the time. Nibble is mine.
nibb: le's squirming into elec:
tronic limbo: Nibble should have never been born.
In: formation bouncing bet: ween the sun and the moon:
dis: rupting e-: ownership's a death: (nibble nibble):
a 1940's ill: usion of old men: eyes gla: zed in do: nut
shops.
(fl: ash to mod: urn): still sit (still):
One shaking hand on the rim of a cof:
fee cup. As if: my head mat: ters in this ling:
uistic water: nibb: ling my ton: gue
while my eye's break the glassy sur: face (of hope):
nibb: ling a cerebral moat: Holder: lin wrote: "We
are a sign
that does not read." I too am sor: ry and skel:
etal:
bene: ath this need for ave: rage beauty: an opening:
in my dream: like a rip in my pow: der pink sky:
Let the st: range soul nibbling in: for: cing
me to fastwhisper: into my wet pill: ow:
Iloveyou:Iloveyou:Iloveyou. Nibble's still too quick:
mindwhipped: till I'm flu: ng back
into every: inter: action's comp: lex text.
Nibb:ling through beau: tiful bar codes: of sun: light:
zebra the darling: count: ry road: scrib: bling on a los:
ing: lot: tery ticket: pushes me beyond: the origin of
harm:
a warning as farce: I become my own: pole: mical son:
a defi: ant card: inal: flying in: finity: loops around
the sun:
like a blood clot: I fly a fast line:
leaving my wing: redtrace: sign like a scratched match
across midair: draws a line from tree to tree: my que: er
thought left linge: ring above the lawn: ec: hoing
a warning: in my queer: mind mirrors the pulsing
universe:
Billy says: my app: roach to you: is vertical:
horizon: tal is numb: er one: nibble two: keeled over:
didn't sue:
flat like : a number eight (dead on it's side!) Number
two?:
this symbol: won't do: nibble: nibble: don't chew:
science presents us: with an illu:
sion we are ap: parent: ly so: lit:ary
and it is sound on which we
walk: the number eight: always be:
neath our gliding feet:
two circles glued together: walking a par: allel line
with the horizon until
happen upon a wha: le he: art left on the be: ach let:
ting its: elf fil:
ter: death: through sand. (nib:nibble:nib) Then and there
I dis: cover: I
am a coat: for exi: stence: a prop: a boot: it's host.
Existence is a: "very-real-looking" virus: as
we are: (nibble nibble
nibble): --from the squin: ting squidlike cosmic God's
dis: tance-- mold
squiggling through earth's ti: le cracks. Nibble is
yours. Nibble is
planetary and social and ultimately sublime. Nibble
erodes the assumption of ethics: Nibble defines its own
aesthetics. Nibble
jumps from sense within sense: Nibble only survives quick
though dense:
Nibble dissolves the fence. Nibble swims in the
in-between: nibble is
orange and purple and green.
skin on the white ground: notice the blood:
had freshly fallen: from backyard of a corporate
playground:
snow. One girl will not remember anything. They will
remember
it's color: skin. A red coat creates a snowball: by
rolling bleeds.
I got up from the bed. The mirror made me think: wet snow
from blood on the
back of my thigh: from chaffing: red tiny mittens soaked
from wiping clean a
slide. A boy: look out of my office window into my legs:
I itch it so much
it breaks. This is rehashed and transfered:
a new eruption. But all of this prevents itself:
and she tetters alone toward a tree. Snow places on her
coat
with the precision of a layer of blood
years. So many have been here before and will visit this
place.
As I write this their snow skin feels today;
the snow does not feel
like calves it's whiteness, white
like life's lie.
Not: per: haps not: nib: ble will not: die: af: ter all.
Billy X. O'Brien was born in Cambridge, Massachusetts, in
1973. He works at Houghton Mifflin and the
Boston Living Center.
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