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Cathy
Wagner’s Miss
America was released by Fence Books. She lives in Boise, Idaho.
Exercise 6 (12/1/00 a.m.)
Ah good the left shoulder hurts again
because right shoulder was, and is the
wrong one
Exercise 20 (10/10/01 a.m.)
Gonna throw up
swinging the legs like that
pigeon in a jar of slosh
To win the Nobel Peace Prize
your country has to suck
your leaders I mean have to suck
Jealous am I?
A negative of something
patterns my inside screen
Cold on the outside
nauseous in. Yellow socks.
happy I didn’t die. I feel awful
about the rest of you dying
some God-yank
muscle-impurity
or sat wrong yest, sat
through lecture stiffening
the ibuprofen said don’t feel it
and don’t fix it.
The mess of cars past,
past 9 a.m., quiet, heater
noisy trembling, but that’s mine.
Exercise 28 (12/17/01 p.m.)
I politely rise to meet
my knee
As I get sorer in the belly
I hate the knee
am
however diligent and strict
Exercise 34 (1/3/02 p.m.)
Snow
starred when I looked straight up
sky dark gray, geese rose
in alarmed soft shh and hasping
long-necked geese
a-gossip all upset
Home I immed. dial up
does
anyone love me, and Karen does.
Muscle under collarbone hurt today
from fooling with computer.
Look left and up pulls like a bitch
Haven’t cleaned the house since Martin
left, and living out of the freezer, the old food,
and no fresh, and living high alone and
secret way up high a cloud ranch
twisted threw me on the bank spurred my own
cheek
Cloud at the level of my eye
I was high up in my head with cheek-hollows
like the Red Sea
To reward me my email is up
Chelsey, Rebecca with news of a plug from
Powell’s, and Janet; not bad
yellowredpearl and interrupting twigs
Somebody
liked my booooook
Do I want something scary
an extreme change, so it’s obvious what to
do
(dig my way out the rubble, toward the cries)
and make my now golden?
fadeproof/waterproof
I
knew I was a sign to myself
I
couldn’t see myself except in the mirror
which 1) wasn’t me 2) was me backwards was
3) flat was 4) making me vain or 5) making me embarrassed
to go out, that was all a sign to me not a
sign of me
all along I was what was meant by myself
I
was alone to that, though everyone saw me
checking myself out by talking to them
when they checked themselves out in me
I tried to say Oh here have it all
warm
woolen flood welcomer
some spider-netting held it
back,
kept
growing over my warm and my intention to befriend
I
could use it to disinfect
a wound and it abstracted me, which was
salvation.
Exercise 42 (1/21/02 p.m.)
Breathed & ovulated, breathed &
blood fanned out
Tough new rubber cord so I get stronger
& the joint will stay in place like a
pearl in vaseline
Pull down the shoulder pull down the knee
Harness that yellow thing from my glance
darted across my glance, & 2-3 purple
ball-blotches
rectangles float lightening the ceiling
I
never see anything without the glance before
printed
all over it
The apt not mine & the carpet’s not my
fault
I love that

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