New Poetry with Audio!
Nin Andrews is the author of several books including Why They Grow Wings (Silverfish Press) and The Book of Orgasms (Cleveland State University Press), which has recently been expanded and reprinted by Bloodaxe Books. The poems in this edition of Slope are new selections from the forthcoming Bloodaxe edition.
The Three Orgasms
Suppose, for the sake of argument, that every orgasm is at least 3 orgasms. Call them #1, #2, and #3. The visible, the invisible and the super orgasm. Sort of like the id, the ego and the super-ego.
Imagine that while #1 wants to get laid, #2 considers herself angelic in reveries. While #1 fantasizes –she would like to try everyone on for size (sort of like dresses at a fancy shop), #2 defines bliss as an act of the spirit and says the mind is her sexiest organ. While #1 stands nude in front of mirrors and wishes a man had as many cocks as Imelda has shoes, #2 insists that the body is of no consequence. If she makes love at all, #2 never leaves the light on. She could only love an invisible penis. #2’s sensibility propagates an entire literary and spiritual history of bodiless bliss, divine chastity. Every time she even starts to relax, her mind plays organ music: Onward Christian Soldiers. Maybe that’s why #2 says the orgasm doesn’t really exist. But # 1 says no one does it alone. Not even God. That’s why we’re all screwed.
But what of #3? The one who negotiates the logic of #1 and #2? #3 says they are both right. If the orgasm exists, then the world doesn’t. And vice versa. Thus sometimes the orgasm is #1. Sometimes it is #2. Both #1 and #2 are disappointing. The best is when the orgasm is both, because then it is not just #1 and #2, but it’s also three. Sort of like the Trinity.
True or False
____ 77 million Americans are reinventing the orgasm. (Are you one of them?)
____Best sellers for 2003: Taming Your Orgasm. 7 Easy Steps to Make Friends With Your Orgasm.
____Whenever a man walks down the street alone, he is followed by hosts of heavenly orgasms, wishing to remake
him into God’s image.
____Evidence exists to prove the orgasm endures after death.
____Daily doses of the orgasm cause an increase in the size of the brain.
____ One’s attitude towards the orgasms can influence his/her personal prosperity.
____An enlightened orgasm proves the existence of God.
____Modern physics suggests the orgasm is God, or all that remains of her.
____Those who revere the orgasm have lower levels of cholesterol.
_____One who is saved by the orgasm is happier than a wasp on a ripe, bruised pear.
____Reality is an illusion. The orgasm is not. Therefore the orgasm is not a reality.
____ There is a light at the end of the orgasm.
____A blissful orgasms recharges the batteries of the third eye.
____If everyone knew about the divinity of the orgasm, common colds and balding would be obliterated.
____The entire cosmos is as small as an orgasm in the hands of the devotee.
New and Selected Species of Orgasms
Pseuda orgasmia. Pseuda, Sp., a simpleton. Pseudon, L. a flutelike instrument with no holes, an instrument of silence.
Of the pseuda-orgasmia it is said, in fantasies does she come. “But our cold maids do dead men’s fingers call.” Known for their intricate and unusual parts, some pendulous, some funnel-shaped, the pseudo orgasmia is characterized by unopening lips, and profusion of blossoms with an inability to cling to a single stem. Still, they reproduce at a rapid rate and are often cultivated by the young and over-eager. If kept in dark places and not over-watered, an occasional pseudo orgasmia can sometimes transform unexpectedly.
Orgasms Speculara: sacred orgasms, specerb: an unsheathed sword. Escaplola, Sp. a musical instrument designed to display the music of mathematics, Scepalus, a sharp word. A skewer. Also, stinging wind.
Let them rot, she sighs, or, Make them beg for it. That’s the motto of orgasma speculara. Sometimes she can be seen, swooping out over the town lights, rising and dipping into alleys to rest her wings or dine at some dive, maybe falling in love, just for an instant, just for the hell of it. On her lips is the taste of unsafe sex, sautéed garlic and cigarette smoke. Why should she hang out for the long haul? Why should she be bothered with our unwelcome gifts of death and sorrow? Those shreds of memory and shadow, some body stripped of breath and the subtleties of all we hold back from one another, as if it were sacred, as if grief were the love we never had.
Orgasmum Soupcum: the suspicious orgasm, Supisciumous, OF, a relic or trace. L. suspicio. suspect, liar, cheat.
Known for its bitter venom, this orgasm is peevish, dissatisfied, demanding. Once it arrives, orgasmum suopcum usurps every instant of your attention. It tries to locate itself in every body and object it meets, leaping up and down, waving its desperate arms in the air like a cheerleader with pompoms. No matter how often you try to sooth it, put it to bed, it only asks for more. How to avoid it? Remain still, immobile, let it travel over and over your skin without comment until it lifts into the air, its wings like flames, and vanishes into the shadows its life depends on.
Orgasmi Devoti: Devoted Orgasms Devouta, Sp. Ancient arboreal marsupials, said to have flown from the Promised Land. Devoutak, E., a special camera designed to photograph auras. Devoeken, Norw. the historic moment, when ice turns to flame.
Of course, there are different tribes of orgasms. Some, for example, are speculative and slow. They hesitate as long as they can, as if trying to resist the precious liquids they feed upon. Others zigzag back and forth several times before descending, while still others dive upon their victims like seabirds catching fish, knowing not to let a single precious moment slip away. For all, to thrive is foremost in their minds. So they try to keep us, captives that we are, their only prayer, their only escape.